Blogs / Vibes / Spring 2011 / A new way to see the world

Jan 31, 201209:59 AMPositive Vibes

A blog that explores authentic human connection

A new way to see the world

In Quentin Tarantino’s seminal film Pulp Fiction one of the key charactors, Jules Winnfield, says something that always stood out to me, “I’m trying, Ringo. I’m trying real hard.” Jules has had a “moment of clarity,” a term he uses earlier in the film. He’s trying to make heads or tails of his past, his role in the present, and how he can adjust for the future.

I had such a moment – back in February, specifically in regard to the way I judge people.

I judge people every moment of every day- maybe you do. I critique people based on a wide variety of things: how they speak, how they dress, how clearly they express their ideas and emotions, how intelligent they seem to be. And that’s just for the people I don’t know.

I also analyze the people I do know – who they’re with, what they tell me about themselves, what I already know about them that they don’t know I know. Whether consciously or unconsciously, these assessments effect how I interact with my friends and family. “Do I want them coming over for dinner? Do I want to be seen eating lunch with them? How can I work with them, knowing what I know?”

The more I think about my behavior, the worse I feel about passing such judgments. I’m unemployed, overweight and unable to pursue a single direction for my life. Now I’m judging myself! But honestly, who am I to judge anyone? I am the farthest from perfect I can possibly conceive.

So what I’ve started doing is taking to heart and putting into practice a tool I recently learned: to say to myself, if not to others, “I love you and I accept you, even if I don’t understand you.” And I’m trying to do this on a consistent basis. I’m trying real hard.

Now that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped judging. But just this little step is already reaping rewards and shifting the way I interact with people in my daily life. It is allowing me to be more open to learning about the experiences of others and really hearing their stories.

I believe if I am open to hearing from them, they’ll want to hear from me in a true exchange of ideas. And we’ll both walk away from the interaction having learned a little more and saving the judgments for another day… or maybe just giving up judging people altogether.
 

Adam Pratt is a freelance writer in Cincinnati who blogs at http://iatethecity.wordpress.com/.